I had a Japanese movie marathon with Jimmy, Han and two boxes of donuts today. Basically all the movies involved a lot of red-water blood being sprayed from necks and missing limbs and what have you.

We concluded that sex and murder have the same affect on people. Its just that most people have no desire to handle the consequences of murder. But it's like if you do it once, you can do it again sort of deal that people think is same as sex.

Which is something I've been meaning to mention- sex. Sex is this thing that is becoming more and more present in my life. But not the actual sex, just the opportunity for it. And I'm pretty damn good at just saying no, but here's why.

People think that having sex for your first time should be with someone you love and trust and know really well. And I agree. But that sort of implies that once you've done it once you can do it again with anybody and it's no longer a big deal. But it is a big deal. Because the consequence of sex is getting pregnant. And it doesn't matter if its your first time or your millionth time- you can still get pregnant. And it doesn't matter if you love the person or if they are a complete stranger- you can still get an STD.

Love is not a contraceptive.

But back to Japan. So there was this movie "Battle Royale." The story is that Japanese adults think that Japanese kids suck hard core so each year they pick a random class of kids who've been together since kindergarten and send them to a deserted island. On this island they have three days to either kill or be killed. If you can kill everyone else on the island, then you get to go home. If at the end of three days not everyone is dead, they all get killed anyway.

The real reason this movie was so good- they were all just 15. Like me. And they were killing each other. Because they had to. And there was just an amazing underlying social pressure on who they were and were not killing. The slutty girl would sleep with boys and then kill them, and then later on she got shot by this one girl whose boyfriend cheating on her with the slutty girl. Boyfriends and girlfriends had sex, and jumped off cliffs together because that was it for them. They confessed their true love to all their crushes, and boys ran around trying to protect the cutest girls. Nanahara saw his best friend get shot in the neck and then had to turn around and stab his other friend with an axe just to protect himself and his girlfriend.

The point was that I was thinking about our class. I thought just for example, my home room. What if I was sent to an island and had to kill all those people? This would require killing Luke and Jake, but also killing Alexi Iliades and Kimmy and Rachel Ross, and then killing Katie Wood. Like, I just don't think I could do it. But even if I didn't kill them- to watch them all die would be even worse. I don't know.

I feel like we so constantly think about how we hate each other, and how sometimes we really wish that some person would just die and go away and not be a part of our lives anymore. I've definitely said I wanted people to die before, even threatening to shank them myself...but I guess it's just important to realize how little I actually mean that. I don't wish that on anybody. It would be overwhelmingly sad to have anyone at our school, in our class die. Even I don't talk to them, or I'm best friends with them, or was at one point, or I actually do wish sometimes they would move to Beijing and leave me the hell alone... it would be so sad.

Anyone, the point is I love all of you. All of you. So that's all from me.

Good luck festival!

Love, Allison