Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Princess Consuela Banana Hammock's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, May 14th, 2008
11:40 am	3 1/2 months of silent suffering commence. But I'm not gonna be sad about it. Because it's just a break. With communication. And distance makes the heart grow fonder. And sadness is wasteful. IHOP... high hop. Last night at IHOP I sang to my friends. I hop, to the IHOP, with IHOP, in my head... (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 13th, 2008
11:42 am	magic hat, number 9, blue moon, old leghumper, pandora's box, spring ale, honey moon, circus boy...monday monday mondays. I love my friends, and this school. Because they get a house, and there's a fridge. And in this fridge are only two things. Beer and hot sauce. And then also everyday there is a new cake because moriah brings them home from class. And in the kitchen there are onions and tomatoes and a spice rack and tortilla chips with homemade salsa. And there is only good beer. Delicious, take your time, enjoy every last sip, beers. No more no more no more with the keystone light case races. That was only once, and never ever again. Just sit on this couch and play music and talk about life and drink some nice beers with your friends. But it is true that at any point in the night if you are in the house (and this is a huge, six bedroom, four floor house) and you are bored with the people around you, just go to the kitchen. The coolest people always end up in the kitchen. It reminds me of when I used to throw parties at the avalon and tons of people would be in every room having sex smoking blunts being generally retarded and I would always just end up on the kitchen floor with my favorite friends, sitting talking and probably drinking more. And also watching the door so that tyler wouldn't walk into the hallway naked. Ah, good times, good times. I can't wait to have my own place. Though every part of me knows that it is a very good thing I'm living in dorms next year. I really don't need any added responsibilities / stresses. I also really don't need my own fridge full o' beers, because lord knows I would never accomplish anything. I would put beer on my cereal. Because, and this is funny, beer is much easier to come by than milk these days. So I am content with walking the .5 second walk to Allie Jones' house to do my chilling at. And chilling it certainly is. After last tuesday I just ended the binge drinking thing. Although I did meet that kid who's name was PAUL last night. I was wondering when I would run into him again, and knew he would know me but I wouldn't know him, and he just sees me at the table and he's like "am I going to have to walk around campus with you for another 3 hours tonight?" But so now we're friends and I do know who he is and he is very chill. He's a gemini too, his birthday is the day after mine. I swear that house is insane, I have never seen more geminis in one freaking place in my life. I swear there are literally at least 6 geminis in that house at all times. Which is 12 people. And I love geminis because all geminis know that they are geminis and care about it. Some people don't give a shit about the zodiac and think it's crap. But I've never met a gemini who didn't know exactly what was up. I love them. They're my people. Anyway I actually did everything I had to do. I now just have to go to class for these last three times and I'll be done. I've done everything else. It's pretty neat. That's why I have time to sit here and write lj entries about nothing. But alas I find this slightly unproductive, so I shall find something to do. Au revoir. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, May 12th, 2008
9:19 am	I have good parents. Which I didn't realize for a while. But now I see it. And that is because I communicate with them. You know? Talking to someone on a regular basis greatly reduces tension from the relationship. It evens the playing field. It yields understanding, and appreciation. And so they are this huge source of untapped advice, information, comfort, and help. Besides their monetary and vehicular contributions, they actually care about me and how I am doing and they want me to be happy and well and successful. And they, more than anyone, can help me achieve happiness, health, and success. So I'm glad that they're there. And that's all I have to say about that right now. But still Abby Young is the best parent I will ever know and love. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 7th, 2008
12:06 pm	Having excess money as of yesterday turned into a bottle of rum and an excess of beer. Then I put most of it into my body. At 5:30 in the morning I stumbling into my dorm after much beirut and kings and thumper. I like games. Some people were watching a movie. But that was a silly thing to do, I thought, instead of playing. So I played and played and played. Then I got back and richie and spencer went to bed and some how I ended up with Sean and Paul walking around campus, taking the scenic root to pass the time. Smoke smoke smoking, my lungs are hurting. Then Zia shows up and Cyrus too, so we get in his car and continue the mischief on an adventure to his house that he will share with Kepler Sprinkles next year. Zia is at the invisible party house on Ohio. Next year is going to be ridiculous. Everyone I know is going to be living in houses with beers beers beers bottles bottles bottles and drug drug drugs. So many ridiculous nights of body destruction and mind explosions. And camp called to set up my interview. So now the thought of being free from the curse/gift of bittersweet intoxication is very comforting and good. Too much alcohol is just numbness. I like to feel things. I like to everything. And at camp I feel everything. I feel it on another level, I feel it in a different universe. I feel and I feel and I feel. I have so many sad feelings about leaving this place and I've just been trying to make myself numb to those feelings, but I can't choose what to feel. I either feel it all, or feel nothing. But I understand now that I have to deal with this. The distance, the separation. It is a part of life, and loving something, someone, somewhere. I was not prepared to feel this way about my school. But it is now so a part of me, and I'm afraid to leave. I don't know who I am when I am away from here, because since I've come here everything has changed. I'm not going to camp in the same way anymore. I'm new. And now everything feels new. I see everything in this new way now. Change yourself, change your world. Be the change you want to see in the world. Gandhi was smart. I got to work with chef Aukstalis yesterday while Vienne was out. I learned so much in six hours. Stand on two feet. Simple. But I never noticed that I didn't before. Anyway, the only thing that fights alcohol is time. And I have an hour. So, au revoir. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, May 5th, 2008
12:02 pm	Here is my life: Here is my life. Today is the cinco de mayo, so I am going to the newly leased (as of saturday morning) apartment of Luigi and Nadine with our friends Matt, Dick, and Kathleen and drinking Corona's. That is, after I get out of class, which I have to go to because it is my first day of my last lab, Soups Stocks and Sauces, the class that made me want to come to school in the first place. My friends are unbelievable. I think sometimes that I live in a TV show. Luigi is cashed, he has an empty pint of hagen daaz in his head. No more ice cream scoops. But he works in the kitchen at the cheesecake factory and makes 1500 dollars every two weeks. Nadine is a drug dealer and makes the cash monies and is rarely seen without a fatty in her hand. And they are room mates. Matt basically lives with them, sleeping with Lou on the living room floor because he has no money, no place to live (currently he is crashing with chicken arm, a boy with three fingers that sexually assaulted me the last time I was at his house) and can't get a job because he has a criminal record and is hiding from the cops. Kathleen in living in a apartment with some stupid girls next year, but she has a car, which gives her the power. She is now currently working as a stripper downtown and if you think the drug dealer is making cash you should see her tips. She doesn't even know how to spend that much money. Dick is an alcoholic and a coke head and crashed his car one night after sniffing nitrus. But he's working all summer at a fancy restaurant in buffalo so he can get a new car. And then there's me. I have no job, no car, no addictions, no apartment. I guess I just bring the good humor and sarcasm to our little sextet. We love each other. We hang out and give each other shit all the time. It's a really good group of people, perhaps I just have not highlighted there more appealing characteristics. Still, it's like a tv show and I love it. So there is huge part of me that resents being torn away from it in 12 days. But in 12 days I shall be torn away. I will be on a train to boston, and then the next morning on a plane to england. 8 hours after I land, I shall be on another plane, to greece. There James Futcher, and his father, and his father's father, shall be on a yacht in the mediterrean sailing around for a week's time. Drinking ozou and eating olives and feta and calamari. And then we shall leave greece, and it will then be may 25th and I will be in england, fuxing around like I do. And then it will be my birthday. And I will be 18 years old. And then it will be up to me if I would like to drink, smoke, get a tattoo,  become a stripper,  anything. But I don't really want to be a stripper.  So I will  probably just drink  some.  And then  I'll be in england for a few more days on  june 3rd I'll get on a plane and fly home. And when that plane lands I will get dressed  and  go to prom with james.  But not just with james.  Ben schapiro/sarah harney,  isaac sokol/ kate stanton, lauren wynn/noah jefferson. A real camp fest. Perfection. Then I think I have doctors appointment. Then I get my license. Then the 5th is graduation. Then I'm going to drive around aimlessly from place to place visiting whomever and where ever  want around the east coast. Then I go camp. Then I go back to school. Or something like that. I think I'm going to have to play this all by ear a lil bit. Anyway, ALLIE YOUNG because I know you are reading this, PLEASE GIVE ME JENNI KING'S CELL PHONE NUMBER so I can call her. DREW VANDERBURG because I know you are reading this, I love you and I plan to be keeping in touch with you throughout all of these adventures. EVERYONE ELSE who took the time to read this. I hope your lives are as nuts and fast spinning out of control as mine. Because it is a glorious and satisfyingly electric feeling. hollah (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, April 28th, 2008
1:13 pm	time timet time timeit meitmetmeitmeitmeimtietmeimtiemtim time tempus fugit!!! ------------------------ l                              l l                              l l                              l l                              l l                              l ------------------------         <------- That is a box. People try to put you in them. I don't like boxes! Because I am shaped as an unidentifiable polygon and I don't fit in boxes. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, April 14th, 2008
12:46 pm	Money is the blood of the devil. I hate it. I really want to go to camp today, everyday, forever. The treeeeees and the laaaaake and the diiiiiirt and the peeeeepz. And the children! The children! Anyway, money is evil. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, April 7th, 2008
12:05 pm	I dreamed of watching TJ, Richie, Emma Balder,Emily Simon and some crazy gypsy doing cocaine. A huge pile of cocaine the gypsy set up and had carved from a larger solid block of it. I was very scared. We then left to go to see the musical at NSHS which was supposedly Songs for a New World only my sister was in it and on the way there Greg Barrett and Alik Kogan helped me sing the opening, loudly. When we arrived my mother was there and I drank heavily, but only so much that I couldn't walk yet remained coherent. The back stage area was that of Brown Middle School's production of Pirates of Penzance and I watched a hundred little girls twirl on stage and laughed because. Dreams skip around too much but there is some theme here I guess...I like to sing, coke is bad. (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 27th, 2008
7:17 pm	Last nightly drunkenly scrolling through my cell phone I realized I love everyone. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 1st, 2008
4:48 am	oh i love my pisces.  (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 15th, 2007
3:50 am	I don't really know. Alls I know is I really really like me some music. Any time of day or night I love me some music. I breathe music. I eat sleep drink music. Unless I'm drinking rum. Rum is very good. And rum mixes very well with music. There are a lot of rum drinking music playing nights. And they are very good. A lot of Reggaeton. And speaking spanish. And rapping. And grooving and cruising to banging beats. Forever. I think I will have to move to the islands. The tropical islands. Not the touristy ones either. I am going to discover some small random island off the coast of Greece with James and name it and claim it as my own. And then live there and drink rum and listen to music. Caress Me Down. Will play. All the. Time. I really think Boy Meets World was the best tv show ever to be made. I'm certain I've seen every single episode. A whole bunch of love stories were responsible for my expectations of love. Corey and Tapanga were a huge part of it. As were Roger and Mimi, Christian and Satine, Jamie and Kathy. Meredith and Derek, Carrie and Big. But don't hold that against me. I have a huge set of unrealistic goals that were all derived from watching too much degrading tv and reading fashion magazines. Beauty magazines will only make you feel ugly. And then they make you feel stupid. So now I've ditched these habits and I'm trying to pin point all the things I want that I will never get because they don't exist. Because they don't matter. It's a trip. It's exhausting. it's working. But I have help this time. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 12th, 2007
2:42 am	Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa wh-wh-whoa. I'm going to England in 2 weeks. Then I'm going back to England on May 17th. And then the next day I am going to Greece. I am going sailing in Greece. On a yacht. With James. For a week. Then I am turning 18 years old. In England. With James. And going out to get legally hammered and then legally laid. Legally. And then I'm coming home with James. And living with him until he goes home again the following September. And my mom is throwing me a birthday/grad party when we get back. And I hope we can go to prom. But I may be in England. And boy oh boy am I willing to give prom up for that. And I'm going to England in 2 weeks. And next year I'm doing my fucking co-op there too. Too bad England has shitty shitty food. Let's just talk about Greece though. Greece Greece Greece. Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeece. Barbara Harrrrrrrrrrison. Olllliiivvveeesss. Zeussssssssss. Lessssbo. Creeeeeeteeeee. Hommmmmmmmerrrrrr. Demmmmmmocracyyyy. Hippppoocrateeesssssss. And fucking lamb on a spit. That was just word association because my excitement makes sentences come out in jumbles. And camp camp camp camp camp camp camp. I beeellloooonnnggg at camp. But I like it here. When I am 18 I will do so many strange things. I am so excited. Tattoo first. Strip club second. No cigs, but hello to dutches. The drunk girl on campus had her birthday today and she ran around all afternoon, her friends drew a cat face on her. I am in a strange social social social place. Because I have a boyfriend in England. But social situations don't actually exist or matter. My new chef is harder than my old chef. but I am not going to pussy out. I messed up today and I got yelled at. It was scary. But damn you know I will never fucking mess up again if I can avoid that. Yowzah. Hey hey hey what doesn't kill you makes you stronger bye bye bye (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 11th, 2007
12:00 pm	I had a long series of strange dreams. I wish I had a little sister. (Comment on this)
12:19 am	Teenagers are assholes. Twenty somethings are selfish. But I'm selfish. And when I was in high school I literally was a social retard. I just had no clue about what was going on and the way things "work" in Newton. I get it now. The way things work in the world. But it's easy to avoid. Anyone who is the least bit different hates high school. Different. From. What. ?. Bus rides are crazy. Buses. I hated the bus always. Except on long bus rides but still then I hated them. Bus bus bus. Bus Buddies. Back of the bus. Singing loud songs. At camp it's different. But at school it's torture. Torture. I would have gone to school more if the bus hadn't been such torture. I felt tortured by so many of my surroundings. I don't know how I feel about my step-dad. I'm basically indifferent. I rarely acknowledge him. I wonder if he notices or cares? Labs labs cooking excellent. But being a girl here adds a whole new thing. A whole new fight. I was scared for a second that I am a suck-up, but I'm relieved to know I'm not. I'm the Hermione Granger of cooking school. And cooking is a skill only some possess, like magic, and there is much to learn about it in both books and the kitchen. Think of my Chefs Knife like my wand. Everyone called Hermione a suck-up. But blimey Harry she is a great Witch! Cars are scary. They aren't safe. At least they're warm. I'm singing in the shower, and more loudly now. I can breath better. I am always getting better. (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 8th, 2007
7:21 pm	color I am going to make sure Green wins both color wars because of the song and because of the cheer. I am going to make the best  song and cheer ever in the history of camp. Or at least the last five years of camp. Green is going to be Legend after this summer. Reg and Lindsay are the best right now. Because I am in fact a white teenage girl. But I am a smart teenage girl. So I'm not afraid to grow up a little. I am excited to grow up.Grow in general I guess. When does growing change to rotting? When are humans ripe? I think you're always ripe if as long as you want to keep growing. Reg knows everything about me. She told me about you in Poor Little Rich Boy. And she is helping me write poems again. But my poetry is coming out like rap, which is why I know I have a little black teenage girl in me somewhere. Don't mind the Billy Joel, Uptowngirl in the background- we're all the same color in the girls only fort. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 5th, 2007
11:33 pm	Today I started project grandpa. Basically Nadine, my roommate, got a message on her phone that was not for her. It was a grandfather calling his granddaughter, Katie, to wish her a happy birthday. We listened and thought it was funny and then it was over. But on this very evening when a bunch of us were in TJ's garage, he somehow got brought up. So we found his number and I called him back pretending to be Katie. Surprisingly, this worked. It was my birthday and I have a sister and I may be getting a car tomorrow. Grandpa lives in Florida. It sounded like he hadn't talked to her in a very very long time. Once he and I hung up we decided we should call and get to know him better. So I then become Natalie Simon- a representative of the Make A Wish foundation conducting Christmas Wish surveys. But he didn't take my survey and hung up. But politely. So another me will call him again tomorrow. This was the most fun I have ever in my life had acting. On the spot character development based on the clues I get from what he asks me and says to me. Pretty cool, twisted improv, eh? Obviously I love exercises like this. Human-to-Human contact. Who knows what will become of this?! Who could know. Maybe he doesn't talk to Katie, it sounds like he hadn't in a while. So maybe he will sleep better tonight because she called him! Maybe he is lonely. Maybe he was annoyed. Maybe the gig will be up tomorrow when he goes to pick her up from school. Maybe he won't ever find out. Maybe one of the other people that calls him will be able to talk to him. Maybe I'll find out something fantastic or top secret. Maybe he is in the CIA and I am playing with fire. Maybe I'll tell him one day on the phone and he'll laugh and we'll be friends. Maybe he is my real grandpa! Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm actually sane. Maybe this is such a fun project. No, no, it is definitely such a fun project. Because I love projects that lead to using my imagination and I love acting and I love grandpa. On a side note, divorce sucks. But I was told something awesome today. Everybody has a shadow. Your shadow is all the things that you know are a part of you, but you don't acknowledge them. Envy, Lust, Gluttony, Rage perhaps? I just think that's a cool thing to think about. I wonder what's in my shadow. I wonder if I actually really do already know. I guess... No, I'm not sure. Right now I am learning how to be myself. Wait no, that's wrong. I know how to be myself. Right now I am remembering to be myself around everyone, all the time. Because if you're not yourself all the time then how do you know if you get along with someone? How could you possible know if they like you or not if you're not acting like you for part of the time you are with them? It seems silly to me now, but I spent so much time like that. I won't call it a waste of time because look what I learned. God bless the broken path that lead me straight to HERE. Current Mood: Fishy (Comment on this)
12:40 am	Ne me quitter pas. Today was another day. Full of life. A long day. I used to be up til the wee hours of the morning. I am tired now. But a good tired. A well-deserved tired. A beast that can be fed. But mostly today I feel like speaking through Regina Spektor. But she has so much to say that I agree with. This is how it works You're young until you're not You love until you don't You try until you can't You laugh until you cry You cry until you laugh And everyone must breathe Until their dying breath No, this is how it works You peer inside yourself You take the things you like And try to love the things you took And then you take that love you made And stick it into some Someone else's heart Pumping someone else's blood And walking arm in arm You hope it don't get harmed But even if it does You'll just do it all again. Current Mood: Alive (Comment on this)
Monday, December 3rd, 2007
10:13 pm	I am legend. I love cooking. I love love love cooking. So I was a Thai chef the other day. I made a court bouillon using coconut milk and lemongrass and chili sambal and ginger and poached chicken and served it on brown rice and then I was Greek and made dolmas and browned pork with tomatoes onions feta garlic mint parsley rice and wrapped it up in grape leaves and steamed it in veg stock which was home made of course! Today I was chinese! I made stir-fry with tofu marinated in oj, hussein sauce, soy sauce, sesame oil, peanut oil, garlic, ginger, onions everything everything and chef said it was SLAMMING. And I did a demonstration for my whole class and he called me Chef Allison and he loves me and I love him and I love cooking and when I am in production I am flying and it feels like I will never stop and it is the best feeling. Afterwards I feel tired but so mother fucking ACCOMPLISHED. Like I did something made something learned something gained something grew somehow and improved somehow and it fucking rocks and it is what I always wanted and now I have it and I have it for years to come and everything is great and I am so so so so glad that this is the way things turned out for me. And I am surrounded by friends, by beacons and by love. Everyone in my life is someone I love, someone I trust. I am finally loved! I am finally understood! I am finally honest with everyone in my life. I have no secrets from them and I have no shame and I have no guilt. I don't feel isolated and I don't feel alone. I feel alive! I feel strong. I feel well. I feel better than I have ever felt in my entire life. I feel ready for anything. I am so ready to keep on going and going and to never stop and I am so ready to conquer the universe!!! Hurrrraahhh!!! This doesn't mean I don't look back. I like to look back. I like to think about what I learned and what I escaped and what I missed and how I've grown. But I don't look back too much. It is much more fun to look ahead and see all the things I have in store. Current Mood: Moving (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 1st, 2007
1:18 am	facebook is a ridiculous force I just read the wall to wall between Jake Waldman and Justin Danforth. It is fucking hilarious and so like them. My between the line analysis sees what it explains about their relationship. It is a true to life bond between two teenage boys. Like the two boys in Superbad. Only far less comedic at times and with far more female attention. I'm glad it's still going. For all that I do know about these and for all that I don't, I think they are really good for each other. Current Mood: Ready for bed. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 28th, 2007
8:24 pm	This Day. Ahhh yes. Now I am a chef. This is the most amazing wonderful correct thing in the world. First trimester, slack-ademics. And it was very hard for me to remember why the hell I even went to this school if all I was gonna do is sit in class and learn from books books books boooooo!!! I was angry. But I learned about the place and the people and the lifestyle and I loved that all very much so it was survivable. And I went home and that was that. I somehow ended up typing in italics now and I do not know how.... anyway. That was refreshing, renewing, good. I came back to school full of faith in myself and energy! So much energy. And so so so ready to do this this this. This thing which I have been waiting and waiting for. So before my first lab yesterday I was nervous. Not like a normal nervous. Not even a before you go on stage nervous. It was more of an "if I go into this class and I am not in perfect uniform or I do something wrong I will get kicked out. Worse if I go in this class and have no idea what is going on I will fail and die and rot and be kicked out and have no future" kind of nervous. But fortunately none of that happened. Chef is fucking AWESOME. I passed uniform inspection and got through the door. Plus I successfully hid the bracelet James made me so I had I was all good! And then there was lecture and knife kits and projects assigned and many things of that nature. After class Kathleen and Kyle and I went to a celebratory dinner. Which was fun and relaxing and wonderful and hilarious and great great great. I basically cannot say how I good I felt having made it through yesterday successfully. And Chef. Chef chef chef!!! Chef William Idell is the coolest man I have EVER met. And I've already established myself as the person in class everyone would notice missing. Which is GOOD. And he let me record the invoice on the first day. That is RESPONSIBILITY people!!! So the class I am taking now is Nutrition and Sensory Analysis. Basically we make food that is really health and then analyze it using our senses! And it takes like cardboard. So then we get to do whatever we want to the food to make it taste delicious, but it has to still be healthy. Basically we use natural flavor enhancers. Garlic, zest, chillies, purees, roux, spices, herbs etc etc etc awesome awesome awesome. So then tooooddddaaaaayyyy I was a cheffffff!!!!! My group made lavosh bread and a spicy black bean puree dip and basically KICKED ASS. And it was awesome. And chef said he loved loved loved it (that may be an overzealous exagggggeration. But he did say it was great!) And then we got to eat our food and other groups food and it was all good. But obviously mine was the best. And you should see how these kitchens get cleaned, it is crazy but organizes. Efficiency is life. Anyway I'm really good at this and I rock and I have the force and the power and the control over ALL OF THE UNIVERSE. Good night! (Comment on this)